Week one, day one.

Today, I did it. On my way home from a meeting in SF, I made a decision and drove to Weight Watchers. I sat in the parking lot and looked up via the app to see if it was open. I had to wait 15 minutes for it to open.  I had none of the "right clothes" with me and I didn't care. I went in straight to the scale. I didn't go to the bathroom first or take off any jewelry or even take off my socks. I was wearing jeans for heaven's sake. As has been my custom for some time, I didn't look at the scale.  I briefly looked at how much I had gained but then the printer broke and the sweet receptionist suggested that I stay for the meeting.  I declined as I had earlier made plans to do much needed laundry. (And I don't think I could have waited for an hour for the meeting to start.)

I got in the car and went to get groceries. I overloaded the hand basket but I wanted vegetables and healthy things. I got home, unloaded the loot and made some flower arraignments. I had a bit of time to wait for the quiche crust I had to defrost, so I opened up WW to see how much weight I had gained and look at the past 2 year's data.  I looked at a very lovely graph that is currently a valley rather than a downhill slope. I have not gained back all the weight I lost but I am not too far off.

I made quiche with some left over veggie shish kabob, ham and swiss cheese. This is only my second one but it looks divine. I'll do a taste test a breakfast tomorrow and let you know how it turns out. While the quiche was in the oven, I decided to make more food (red lentils) so that I can get the laundry done tomorrow after I eat dinner and won't have to worry about the cooking.

Quiche and in process Lentils

I think I really need to do a beginning of the week grocery store/cooking adventure.  It's amazing how much of the stress goes away when I do that. I have food, I can bring it with me, I know what I will eat and that it will be mostly healthy and I have not spent a million dollars on it. Funny, I think I did this a lot when I was being really successful at WW, before.




I have to do the things that will help me get out of the hole, if I can. Paying attention to what I am eating, Check. Groceries, Check. Food made, Check. Tomorrow! Laundry and maybe a walk?

I know that my depression can be a burden/ broken record but I will just say a little bit about it. I know that I have not gotten help recently and I know that I should.  But, this is an illness that I have. I know in concept that it will be so easy for me to call the doctor (YAY, health insurance) but in practice it is really hard for me to do that. It goes so quickly from fine/managing to hard to get out of bed (and sometimes taking a nap in the middle of the day when you should be working....).  I really appreciate your support and friendship (readership?)

Here's me earlier today wearing a kind of 50's outfit. :)

The goal I set for myself this week is to drink more water.

Wish me Luck!

Happy 2014!!!

I am pleased to announce that (other than getting a weird cold thing) the first week of January has been not too shabby.  I've been filling in at a job I don't do very often, yay money!

And I had a pretty successful week with WW, I made a bunch of Hoppin' Jack with rice and swiss chard and some filling for Fajitas and brought it all to work. It was delicious and I realized that I was eating less snacks because I was eating more points for my meals and I was super excited about eating the food that I brought. I think I need to keep doing this with exciting food and not sandwiches. Sandwiches all the time are way too boring!

At Christmas, for some odd reason, I decided I'd eat and drink whatever I wanted. After that my pants were not fitting very well at all.  I slowly and (with perhaps a bit of internal kicking and screaming) decided that I wouldn't go to the meeting but I would go to weigh in.  So I did, and I gained 4 lbs in 3 weeks!!! eek eek eek.  So last week, I got on program, tracking, trying to move/exercise more, and because I was on a super budget I had to stick to my "go to the grocery store and eat the food I brought to work" plan. Guess what it totally worked.  I was just looking at an article about a guy who was over weight and lost a bunch, he described how after he lost a bunch of weight fast he was addicted to try and loose more. I gotta say, rather than beating myself up about the fact that I am technically loosing the same weight for the 2nd or 3rd time, I am kinda excited and I want to keep it up.

I have even been thinking a lot about how I can get some more integrated social cardio into my life. I am a bit worried financially but I am trying to figure out how to make it work because I think that if I can get some good motivation about the food and the exercise I'll be really on track to loose some more lbs.

I feel like I have more things to say, but I can't think of what they are. Hopefully, I'll remember next week.  Plus next week needs to see the return of the Weigh in photos because I got a little bit of pink in my hair this week and you guys need to see it.

Some photos from the past two weeks...

broken cookie, salvaged with dinosaurs and fake blood

Avocados from my Brother's tree

Turkey before

Turkey during

turkey after

Clementines!

Limes!

A tree in Downtown Berkeley

Walk at Point Isabel

Hoppin' Jack!

Trees in Berkeley

Ground line for...

This power line!!!!

When it is cold, I apparently get more motivated.

After a time of not really doing WW, gaining 10 lbs in a few months and going to 4 meetings in 9 weeks, I am proud to say that I have gone to meetings two weeks in a row!

After going to last week's meeting and gaining 2 lbs for the second meeting in a row, (I'm not sure how many weeks were in the middle of those meetings....) I decided I should probably make going for walks a priority, and track at least one full day.  I did all of those things. I even tracked most days.  And I stayed the same.  Exactly. I was shocked and a bit uppity when the weigher in told me that.  She was trying to tell me that it's good to maintain during the holidays and I told her that I was not trying to maintain but loose.  And especially loose the weight I gained in the past few months. I think I have gotten comfortable and focused on other things.  I need to make planning, exercise and going to meetings a priority. I started putting WW meetings in my calendar again and here I am writing about my feelings.

I am saying this right here to remind myself. I want to loose the 10lbs I have gained recently and I want to loose MORE than that in 2014.  2014 is the year of getting closer and closer to goal. 2014 is also the year of remembering that I know how to lose weight on this plan. 2014 means remembering that this is the longest I have lost weight (-25lbs right now) without gaining it all (+ more) back, sure I have gained little bits but I have lost them again and I will again and I am still here.  THAT IS A HUGE ACCOMPLISHMENT. I am going to remember to be proud of myself. BE PROUD OF YOURSELF TOO!

This week my goal is to keep up the exercise (and using more public transit) and make time to make meals at home to bring with me when I go to SF with me when I am teching/running the awesomely exciting dance show I am designing this week.

Here are some walk photos:

Late Afternoon Winter Walk

Geese, I hate their poop...

Walking to Bart to go to Rehearsal

Lighting Store in SF

Abandoned Berkeley Car Shop

I maybe walked home in the rain

It was really windy but quite pretty.

at the Print store

More Print store

A little bit sad, kind of blue.

I'm sitting in our living room typing away, staring at the vacuum I hope to use soon.  We normally have some thick red curtains that cover the side windows a bit.  They are making their theatrical debut right now and it is a bit shocking to me how much more light our living room gets when they are not here. I should tell you about the plants!  I have two tiny succulents and a cactus on the window sill, a spider plant, a basil plant, the creature, a bright light house plant (which has some sun burn, so it got moved to a less sunny place), and a cool plant who's leaves are supposed to roll up in the dark.  I worry a bit that it is not happy because our living room never gets dark, because when the sun goes down the streetlight turns on. The basil plant and a plant, I have started to refer to as the creature, are the happiest.  The creature is a part of a succulent that I bought at Trader Joe's. Since I re-potted it has gotten much bigger and has two new shoots.  It's going to be even bigger and crazier!

I've been feeling a bit sad recently, nothing too bad, just a general level of sadness. The sadness/crankiness started when was I working on two projects that overlapped and had very different working times, one we worked all night then the other I worked in the day times.  For a few days, I stayed up till 4:30 or 5am then woke up at 10 or 11 or one day 7:30am and went to the other theater for the day/early afternoon and then went back to the Night time theater till 3:30 or 4:00am.  At first I  chocked the sadness mostly to exhaustion and having a very weird waking/sleeping schedule, but the feelings didn't go away once I was only working one job.  Then I started craving salt and realized I was due to get my period this week.

I woke up this morning, made breakfast and decided to tackle the full sink of dishes.  However, I was twice thwarted by shower takers, so I decided to clean the counters and sweep the floor. In just a little while the whole kitchen was clean and once the floor dries, I'm going to put all the dishes away before I go to the theater.  I think it must be a good thing that one of my first new responses to not feeling well is cleaning.  I don't think I would have ever seen that one coming!  A clean kitchen means a good place to make good healthy food and good choices.  A dirty kitchen does not inspire me to clean, it just inspires me to get the hell out.

Fast forward to the next day, Sunday a weigh in day.

I went to WW today and guess what! I gained 4 lbs in 2 weeks.  I want to blame a lot of that on the period and having a few beers last night but really I ate a bunch of crap last week.

Here's to a week of tracking, walking and celebrating a birthday.  :)

It's loose for good time again, (and 2nd anniversary of the rejoin.)

This week marks the second anniversary of my Rejoining WW.  I thought today would be a good day for a little state of the state, but before we begin, here I was on Sept. 11th, 2011.

Here I am today, Sept. 15th, 2013, with much longer hair and having lost around 30lbs.  I re-read the first post and my anniversary post last year, and I realized. I have done a really good job of maintaining (gaining and loosing the same 8lbs, sometimes less and sometimes more) last year but not really loosing any more weight.

One of my friends has been quite successful the past few weeks with exercise and tracking and I have been very inspired by her.  Over the course of the last three weeks, I've gone to WW for the first time in 4 weeks, I've been mostly tracking. I've also been doing a pretty good job of getting 100% of my activity goal on my active link. I've been trying not to stress about food too much, and eating what I want within reason.  Guess what? I've lost 3lbs in the last two weeks. Not too shabby and I am feeling pretty good about it all.

I do feel a bit sad that I have been wasting time (and money) this past year but I also feel quite proud that I have mostly been able to stay in my clothes. I am doing a much better job of going off plan and gaining but then turning around and getting focused and loosing the weight again. I need to remember that when I rejoined I wasn't going to give up and this is not an easy or fast process. I am hopeful that I can continue successfully for the next few months. I really need to remind my self two things. I am capable. I need to do this for my health and mental health.

It is loose for good right now (WW donates money for every pound lost to food related charities). My leader brought in how much she lost in different sizes of rice bags. It is kind of shocking to see what 20lbs looks like in a bag of rice. It's quite a bit.  I look forward to seeing how much I have lost on a table and feeling good that it is not on my body anymore.

My new goal is just to get to -40lbs. It's only 6.4 lbs away. The last time I was that close was in February. Maybe I can get there by the end of October.

"How did it go last week?" I thought many times about the fact that I am capable of doing this. (We got some simple I statements to choose from last week, and I choose capable.) It was very positive.

"Little Change I'll make this week" I want to plan, go to the grocery store and make food ahead of going into tech next week.

Total Lost: -33.6 lbs, -1.6 this week.

Most people would really enjoy the summer I've been having.

From the past:

Freelancing provides the ultimate flexibility. I can work when I want to, but sometimes I don't have work when I want to.  I worked on a music festival at the beginning of the month for 11 days, but for the rest of the month I've been off.  Originally when I realized how many days I'd be without work, I decided to think about trying to schedule my time so that I felt like I was taking a class. My parent's house was empty for a week or so, I planned to bring a bunch of reading, including a book about freelancing, and do a bunch of writing and soul searching.  The day before I was going to go my brother called me and asked me if I wanted to go to their cabin in two days for the weekend. Surprise Vacation! We had a good time except that my nephew got sick and I wound up spending an extra day watching him.

I realized something last week. It's been a long while since I have been tracking.  It's been a long time since I've been paying attention to how many fruits and vegetables.  I got home today and I managed to eat food that was in the house, but included a snack and a main course featuring apples, which were the only fruit that lasted the 6 days I've been gone.  I've been going to meetings kinda sorta. (Read very sporadically.)

Fast forward to this week:

Since I wrote this I've gone for a walk almost every day.  I've encouraged a few others to go with me and I have been both tracking mostly and eating a healthy, mostly fruits and vegetable based diet.  I did go to two parties last week that threw me off a bit but I tracked mostly.

Yet, I still haven't gone to a meeting. I really need to go to a meeting before I go on vacation again.  I think I am getting to a place where I am afraid of the scale. I'm sure that if I managed to go to a meeting I'd see the scale and be able to make some downward progress.  I am tired of being at my plateau but I also have clothes that mostly fit right now. I need to get to some more motivation.  I think it's time to re-read my weight loss notebook and write some more in it.

Tomorrow people. Tomorrow there is a meeting and I can go to it before my work meeting.  Then I am going on a hike.

It's gonna happen and I am going to deal with whatever the scale says.

Breaking News, I have seen Pelicans every time I've walked the lake this week.

PELICANS!!!  I wish I had a bigger better camera with zooms because this shot is almost fabulous.

Hello, my name is Stephanie and I have some news.  After a long break from the blog and WW, I am back!  (I feel like this is a bit repetitious but so is life?) Since we last met, I have designed and teched 4 shows, gone to the UK for work and watched tech of another one and watched a bunch of plays. Also, my hair is getting longer and longer.

Once again, I have done a pretty good job of maintaining. (Whoo!) Before I left for the UK I was doing really well at the loosing of a little bit of weight I had gained during some of those techs. When I was in England, I did not do a very good job of tracking. In fact I didn't track at all.  I was looking forward to coming home from England late Saturday night and then waking up on Sunday going to WW then going to my friend's wedding. Then there was a plane crash at SFO and we got diverted to PDX and didn't fly home for another 24 hours. When I finally got home my whole schedule got crazy and then I got nervous about going because I had waited and not tracked for like 2 weeks. (Also, this other thing happened two days after I got home, which I am now working on resolving but is quite stressful for me and I didn't really want to do a whole lot of things for a few days.)  I am working on a post about England but bear with me.  There will be a lot of photos

But I went to WW on Sunday! And I gained 3 lbs. When I got home I decided that I should probably start tracking and do some planning.  I am happy to report so far so good. I made a grid and a list of food to make and eat. I've been sticking to the plan, I've made food for my week of work and I'm hopeful that with my extra weekly points I can survive the three parties this week (one congratulatory and two going away parties). I am even going to try to walk before work since I am working afternoon/nights for two days. (We'll see how it goes.)

I saw this today at a meeting at Pizzaolo.

(Break for a walk.)

After a conversation with a friend, I remembered some of the cool Oakland photos I took of the neighborhood when I first moved here.  I've been feeling that the lake photos that I take are a nice seasonal/sky experiment but very repetitious and I kinda feel like I've covered most of the territory already. Tonight, I was looking for new non bird/sky/lake things to take photos of and I mostly succeeded. Apparently, all I want to do is post photos! Maybe I really should use Instagram more.

Grand Lake bulbs 1.

I really like the clouds.

Grand Lake bulbs 2

I stopped and thought about composition and contrast for a while.